it's been a year

Editor's note: We at GreensandBrowns, gave ourselves a one year timeline to post all desired wedding photos. Amazingly so, it just didn't happen. The project is not complete. We appreciate your patience as we close out this matter. This day marks one full turn of a year since we walked down the aisle. Emmelle, this can only be described as The Best Year. Thank you. We came together as allies, schemed, pillaged and are now expanding our empire from in the east (bay). In year two, we look forward to more bloodshed and conquest. In the meantime, let's enjoy this handsome photo, sponsored by Hugo Boss: Thanks for stopping by! Return to the GreensandBrowns home page.

slide show from our wedding reception

Music:
"Chances" by Five for Fighting
"Pictures of You" by The Cure
"The Rollercoaster Ride" by Belle and Sebastian
"What is Life" by George Harrison
"The Joker" by The Steve Miller Band

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wedding photos: pauly sprocket and the groomsmen five

We recently received our edited wedding photos and are still in the process of viewing, sorting, commenting and generally enjoying the collection. Rather than to share them chronologically, I plan to devote a few GreensandBrowns entries of the key players over the next couple of months (At this current pace, my plan is to complete my thoughts on our eventful day within a year's time). Here's a look at the first batch of photos, focused around the groom and groomsmen.

The beginnings of a truly handsome day. Here's yours truly at the Cypress hotel, putting together the look that will be treasured by millions for years to come.



Our budget allowed us to fly out a wedding day ironing specialist (note: we didn't fly him out). Outside of the complaining, Eddie Money did a more than satisfactory job with the shirts, ties and pocket squares. Check out the beautiful time piece! You'd imagine his services would include boxer brief pressing as well to afford such a handsome piece of wrist candy. He doesn't though; we checked.



From left to right: Laser, Eddie Money, Togna and the groom. Yes, handsome gentlemen also put their pants on one leg at a time. It's unclear whether Togna is wearing pants by this point. Federal Investigation (bless his soul) was out running last minute errands. The bride's brother would arrive later in the afternoon.



A thoughtful gift from the groomsmen. A handsomely crafted cask strength Highland Park, bottled in 1986 and aged 22 years. Sweet and powerful smoke. This is where the bottle started on the wedding day after a few nips the night before and was a reliable companion to squelch nerves leading up to the ceremony.



Scratching off my second to last to-do item of the day in between drams of the Highland Park and a High West bourbon. The hand-written list included "go to the hotel gym", "buy soda" and "give rings to best man" all in my very handsome penmanship. The one remaining item? "Get married!"



Federal Investigation returns just in time to help Togna put his pants on. Is Togna more handsome with or without his pants on? The debate rages on...



Direction from Jason Wu, our photographer: "Can you guys try to be less handsome? My camera is overheating." (Spoiler alert: It didn't work):



With the brother-in-law, a contrast (and complement) of handsome head styles.



From left to right: Handsome, handsome, handsome, handsome, handsome, handsome. Also, Eddie Money practicing for post-reception activities.



Attempting to tone down the handsome level during the ceremony. It's obviously too difficult.



The best man lying at every opportunity throughout the best man's speech. Handsomely done.



Forgetting to be handsome. Shame.



Grabbing the attention of all the women with some handsome dance moves.



Federal Investigation is too handsome to be impressed with the size of anything (or anyone):



You can't be the six handsomest guys all day long and not expect that there wouldn't be some sort of night-end acknowledgment (caressing). Impossible; we are only (handsome) human. Eddie Money was finally able to find a suitable partner to apply his much practiced techniques.



I wake up the next morning and continue to keep it handsome. I have yet to take this expression off my face.



Thanks to Jason Wu for the amazing photos. While he certainly had some handsome subjects to work with, we love the way he brought it all to life! It'll be even more evident in future posts of the beautiful bride. Quick shout out for the Jason Wu blog as well.

And a great big thanks to the groomsmen. I am humbled and forever in gratitude for your humor, intellect, wit, generosity and friendship. Keep it handsome.

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the best man

The best man's speech from the best man. I think that Togna, one of the groomsmen, put it best when he said that this was Laser's "shining moment...in his entire life".

Thank you Laser. While there were glaring half-truths and outright lies sprinkled throughout your speech, you get a pass on this one. We'll never forget it.

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wedding ceremony programs

There's some content on the inside as well.

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reception menu

We're in the home stretch. Years from now, in a completely unrelated argument, Emmelle will remind me about how I spent the week prior to our wedding week in New York, physically displaced from our last minute preparatory needs. Even now, I regret not being available for this critical stretch.

There are still a few items that need tidying up, but we fortunately completed one key task yesterday - our reception drink and food menus. I actually created these in PowerPoint, and Emmelle purchased a special card stock (approved after testing paper softness by rubbing on our chests and cheeks) for home printing. It makes me wonder if we could have gone this route for our invitations and saved a little coin. But at this late stage in the game, those completed details aren't an issue; I just might make the suggestion for future husband-wives to be.

Anyway, our menu consists of Asian-inspired dishes to complement the Japanese Tea Garden where the reception will take place. The small bites served during the cocktail hour are consistent with the yellow peoples' theme as well (But our theme is purple, so it's actually quite confusing). Many of the dishes have been replaced since our tasting from several months ago, so I'm a little curious how everything will turn out. I've personally never had a memorable dining experience at a wedding so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the food is forgettable - in the best way possible.

I'm still keen on the idea of serving kimchee and sriracha sauce in some way. Emmelle is vehemently opposed to this idea. I speculate that it has nothing to do with tackiness, but mostly because these essential food items are red and not in line with our purple (and yellow) color scheme. I'll have to put in a special request for radicchio kimchee; the cock sauce can't be salvaged in this situation.

I'll leave this post with some menu ideas that the bride vetoed on the draft table. I thought it would be great if we could elevate the Asian cuisine theme by giving each dish a suitable Asian-inspired name. The names in parentheses, as you can see, did not make it to print:

pork & chive dumplings (dragon droppings preserved in small intestine casing)
shaking beef (panda loin, cubed)
vietnamese style garlic prawns (tiger cub penis)
thai eggplant (jellied thai elephant bone marrow)
asparagus (green-dyed crane legs)

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changes

Changes. Not so much about the big sweeping changes that are taking place, but little details during the wedding ceremony and reception are on my mind today. It's like a move re-shoot - when you are able to see disparate pieces come together for the whole, sometimes they complement each other perfectly, sometimes not so much. I'm sure this will be a key component of the remaining pieces of our planning over the next, ahem, 29 days.

My thought du jour has been all about the wedding recessional song, the rousing number that will take our wedding party back down the aisle with Emmelle and me following closely behind as husband and wife. Our music team, especially Wonq, has quietly suffered through my wild aspirations of closing with a Beatles medley.

I don't think it's going to work.

So my new thought that we will attempt to bring to fruition:



Can this work?!?!?!

While we are here, I should mention the following as well:

Bridal party entrance: I Want You Back
Bride and groom entrance: Dope Nose

(I haven't been able to get Emmelle to approve a more suitable Groom's March as of yet).

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negative one month wedding anniversary

It’s April 20, 2011.

According to my math, Emmelle and I are 31 days removed from our blessed union (I actually just counted off the days in my Outlook calendar). We've fallen into a predictable ritual over the last week – come home from work, cook and eat, execute on some wedding logistics, sleep – which will remain our routine for the next month.

I feel calm and steady, probably because I’m having a difficult time grasping that this significant event will finally come to fruition shortly. I also feel a sense of relief; I can’t help but feel that we are in a state of limbo, removed slightly from reality until we return from our honeymoon. Some examples: all of the exorbitant spending, the gifts being shipped to my office on a daily basis. There will definitely be some sort of consumer withdrawal when this is all over. As much as I look forward to the wedding ceremony and reception, I’m looking forward to building a home, saving, focusing on my career, diverting my consumer spending habits to critical items such as cuff links and time pieces (ahem, that’s plural).

And Emmelle? She is nothing short of amazing. Emmelle is dug in deep into her fox hole and completing all necessary tasks with proficiency and efficiency, really in a way that only she can. I have read and heard from multiple sources the meltdowns that some prospective brides experience leading up to the big day. Not this girl. She’s a machine and potentially going through a trial run for a career change to event planning/wedding coordination. Her even-keel nature has shone brightly through during this entire process.

What else? Hhhmmm. My hair is probably longer than it’s ever been in my adult life…Emmelle has received a series of facials recently…I’m still a shirt and tie short of a wedding day ensemble…I’m also a whole suit away from a wardrobe change…we’ve gone on some neighborhood jogs for minutes at a time (I don’t see a difference in my body, however)…

…

There’s 31 days left and there will surely be plenty of documentation on that day. But I’d like to remember the next 30 days as well, all of the details that we need to complete, any disagreements, any overwhelming emotions that linger, let’s use this as a keepsake just like all of the photographs and wedding day material.

More (frequent) updates to come in the coming days and weeks.

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love letter

I remember a summer's day
I remember walking up to you
I remember my face turned red
And I remember staring at my feet
I remember before we met
I remember sitting next to you
And I remember pretending I wasn't looking

So we'll try and try
Even if it lasts an hour
With all our might
We'll try and make it ours
Cause we're on our way
We're on our way to fall in love

I remember conversations that only you will understand. The ones we've shared quietly drifting off to sleep, the ones that we laughed at together when the light turns green.

I remember decisions that we made. The ones that mean something. The ones that will impact tomorrow and the day after. Cabrillo. Lima. Madeleine cookies...

I remember watching the sun dry up the March rain and being happy. I remember my body splayed across my large bed and being happy that it's only for a moment.

I remember feeling that it's almost time and being happy.

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may 21, 2011 - someone else's perspective

Emmelle and I just booked our honeymoon travel to Paris, France. However, I stumbled upon this CNN video which suggests that Paris won't be around after our wedding date - neither will planes, the sky or anything. That's tough; I've always considered the honeymoon to be a just reward for all of the planning and preparation that has consumed this past year.

It would be extremely helpful to know when exactly the rapture will arrive on May 21. I'm really hoping that we'll be able to squeeze in the father-son dance that I've been rehearsing. This also severely jeopardizes the planned talent show portion of the reception.



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wedding rings

Wedding rings are in...but cannot be worn. Or can they?

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engagement photo session with jason wu

I've made it a point not to use GreensandBrowns as a medium to share a bunch of photos, but just this once (at least until my wedding day, I have kids or a bunch of other events I'm not considering), I'm breaking that rule now.

Last week, we met our wedding photographer for our engagement photo session. His website can be found here. The session is really meant to accomplish two things. First, of course, we (Emmelle) needed some engagement photos to do some stuff with them. Secondly, and just as important, our photographer used this valuable time to acclimate us to his shooting and directorial style and get us comfortable with the camera. It goes without saying that I'm a natural in front of any type of lense; Emmelle had a little difficulty expressing affectionate with an onlooker, but did a great job as the day went on. She'll be ready on her special day.











If you're interested, a few more photos can be seen on my Flickr page. There you can see my sweet Batman cufflinks and pair of Tom kicks that I wore for this day. You know, because you care about these things. Big thanks to our photographer for a great day. He really did help us become more comfortable and the complementary nude session that followed went smoothly (Emmelle wasn't available for that one). We're really glad he's shooting our wedding.

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save the dates

I am supposed to be doing a better job of chronicling the engagement process. Here's the save the date video that we created that we sent out in early January (If embed isn't in HD, you need to clickthrough to vimeo.com):

While we're here, we might as well take a look at Colonel and General Mustard's electronic save the date as well. Please note, just because you can see this now, doesn't mean you are invited. In fact, if this is the first place you are seeing it, you are not invited. That sounds harsh.

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engaged encounter retreat

I thought I would write more frequently about our escapades as an engaged couple. I don’t think I’ve penned anything about the experience outside of the actual engagement proposal. It behooves me to be a bit more introspective on what’s going on. I’ll try to write more reflections in the remaining months, and I'm sure I'll be thankful for it in years to come.

This past weekend, Emmelle and I attended our mandatory Engaged Encounter retreat, hosted by the San Jose diocese (we preferred the San Francisco diocese but the cost was prohibitive). Thus, we begrudgingly trekked all the way to the Presentation Center in Los Gatos off of Highway 17. Upon arrival, I realized I had been to the retreat center previously as a sunday school teacher.

Honestly, I didn’t look forward to spending an entire weekend with strangers. I had just suffered through a weekend in a Munich hotel and wasn't looking forward to spending another weekend away from my cozy apartment. Nevertheless, I welcomed the opportunity to check another item off of our never-ending to-do list and at best, glean insights into the theology behind the Catholic sacrament of holy matrimony. I'll refrain from discussing the actual format and content of the retreat; I believe that should be experienced first-hand and not influenced by my sometimes romantic, other times cynical perspective. However, allow me to share some of the moments/personalities from the retreat that I'd like to keep in the memory bank:

Engaged Encounter graduates. We had two couples lead our retreat. Now, I like to identify people by random nicknames as evident on this blog. The following are actual names of three out of our four retreat masters: Buzz, Chip and Weedgee (pronounced like "Ouija board"). Chip and Weedgee are both retired and grandparents. They are in the twilight of their relationship but made it a point to openly discuss their sexual prowess and potency. Buzz and his wife Anita love bikes and country music (and possibly guns). They played two country love songs during the retreat to put the retreatants in the proper introspective mood. In both instances, they stared into one another's eye sockets and softly sang the lyrics to each other. Most of the girls leaned over to put their head on their partners' shoulders during these musical interludes. I thought that they would dim the lights and request that we make out with each other (they didn't). At no point did Emmelle ask me to dance. Regrets.

High school reunion. When we first arrived, I checked out Emmelle's room on the second floor. While walking down the steps, I see a very familiar face. To my astonishment, it's one of Colonel Mustard's close friends from high school. I am shocked, almost speechless. He is calm and appears to have expected our first encounter in over a decade to be at a Catholic engagement retreat. To top it off, Emmelle knows his dad. She also knows his fiancé's boss. Small world.

Don't forget the Giants. At the beginning of the retreat, we (the men) all took an immediate liking to Buzz because he acknowledged the importance of keeping tabs on the Giants-Phillies Game 6 NLCS contest. We all followed on our phones quietly Saturday night. And then Chip turned on his (transistor?) radio to catch the last out. Giants in the World Series! Now, you'd imagine Chip to be unconscionably old with his erectile dysfunction pills and radio. But it just so turns out he spent the better half of the weekend on his iPad (and there were no mentions of any ED pills. I just made that up).

True love. Possibly the best part of the retreat (in my opinion) occurred on the first night during our introductions. As a get-to-know-you, Chip told us to share our engagement and wedding dates and what attracted us to our respective partners. Nearly every couple understood this to mean that they could talk about whatever they wanted. One particular couple – male, a bit overweight, kind smile and eyes, rough facial hair, Giants cap; female, thin, more physically attractive than her fiancé – my first reaction was actually, “Wow. How did they get together?” But then everything made sense. He concludes their introduction by saying (almost verbatim): “I’m a Giants fan; she likes the Angels. I like the Sharks; she’s a Ducks fan.” For a moment, his face is terribly pained. But he quickly shifts his eyes lovingly and innocently toward his fiancé and adds “But none of that matters.” And a proud grin consumes his face; he is wholly proud of his prose, so touched by his own words, overwhelmed by the thought of being able to care for someone at a level once considered impossible. His girl blushes, she understands that their love overcomes even the gravest of obstacles. Everyone claps, I want to laugh out loud. I think that sequence alone convinced me to write a post mortem on our Engaged Encounter experience .

What else? Well, we have two notebooks full of personal thoughts. I'm sure we'll review its contents prior to the wedding. And then we'll store it in a safe place. We'll read it again in five years...ten years...twenty years...

By the numbers:

• 1: Number of couples who met through online dating service
• 0: Number of couples who admitted to meeting through Facebook
• 3: Number of civilly married couples
• 3: Number of couples with children, or are expecting
• 38: Combined age of the youngest couple (20 and 18)
• 38: Combined age of the couple who's relationship is most likely to end in divorce

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congratulations junior summit

Editor's note: Here is an excerpt from something I had started to write back in late May. I never got around to finishing it, so it remained in draft mode. You can see that I was completely wrong about how the NBA free agency period unfolded. But keep reading; this isn't about sports:

"The 2009-2010 NBA Finals are upon us. With the exception of the Los Angeles Lakers and Boston Celtics, the rest of the league and its players are focused on all of the transactions that will take place over the off-season. Much has been written about the much bally-hooed free agent class of 2010 - which includes the likes of Lebron James, Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh...the list goes on.

In the past several days, there have been a flurry of reports that the most desirable free agents will get together to discuss their future plans. Is it collusion? Hardly, it would be nearly impossible to have two superstars play on the same team; fundamental salary cap restrictions to name just one reason. However, it makes absolute sense that peers (friends) would speak to each other to understand how each will be leveraging his unique talents to eek out the best contract he can possibly attain. Opt-out clause? No trade clause? Isn't it best to talk to your peers about these things?

A similar meeting is happening on a much grander scale as I write this. At this very moment - Monday, May 31, 7pm - Emmelle, Colonel Mustard and Whistle Blower are at dinner together. It should be noted that this wasn't a spur-of-the-moment, "I just watched an episode of Sex in the City and I need some time with the girls" reaction. This "dinner" was planned well in advance. Premeditated. Conversation topics well-planned out.

What could be the reason for such a meeting you ask?"

That's the end of my writing for that day. Just as I was about to roll up my sleeves and articulate my hypothesis, I received a call from Federal Investigation for a dinner of our own. Apparently, he did not get the memo that this was a perfect opportunity to turn on ESPN, take off his pants and eat cold leftovers (not in that particular order). But I can't really poke fun. Being in a committed relationship changes you in all ways - including the ability to hang out by yourself. Like anything else, it becomes difficult when you're out of practice.

If I were to have continued my important writing on that day, I would have written extensively about the Junior Summit's agenda - a laundry list of pre-wedding planning aimed to bounce ideas off each other, and possibly more importantly, eliminate scheduling conflicts and ensure that nobody would be "copying" one's wedding colors and theme. Pretty smart. I applaud their ingenuity and optimism. After all, 67% of the Junior Summit was not engaged at the time.

That was then; this is now. Congratulations Junior Summit; the foundation of your plan has been masterfully laid. Here's to the next year of saving, researching, planning, wishing, praying, dreaming, crying, buying, renting...

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engaged to my commitment

Allow me to take you back to the birth of GreensandBrowns (Really, let's remember this).

I was 27. Emmelle and I had known each other for about two years. I stayed home from work a little sluggish from the usual Thursday night frivolity that was routine during my work week at the time. I found myself bored at the end of the day, waiting for Emmelle to come home from work and in a random moment of inspiration, I began the blog.

I've stated a few times in writing that I mean for my blog to be a collection and synthesis of irreverent thoughts and half-baked ideas. Privately, I intended to use the medium as a way to document my life with Emmelle. At the onset of our relationship, I used to joke to friends on whether our relationship would last: "I am committed to my commitment." But really, it wasn't a joke. GreensandBrowns represents our desire and commitment to be with each other. I wouldn't dare record thoughts and emotions in writing about anyone if I didn't feel as though that person would be a permanent fixture in my life.

And one and a half years later, the contents of these web pages carry a series of photos, some silly musings, a record of travels and milestones, inarticulate reactions to pop culture. For posterity...to look back at where we've been together...for something to share with our children. We'll continue to fill these pages and over a long period of time, we'll slowly start to see a great story unfold. Today, there are pictures of our Halloween costumes; tomorrow, there will be pictures of our kids' Halloween costumes...

A couple of weeks ago - Saturday, April 24, 2010 to be exact - our future took a giant leap forward.

On an idyllic spring day in the south bay, we drove to the hillsides above Saratoga to Cooper-Garrod winery. I came back down the mountain with a new wine club membership and half a case worth of the 2007 Viognier and a 2004 varietal blend - the 2004 R.V. Fine Claret (above). As if that wasn't exciting enough, Emmelle left with a new diamond ring. There were some details in between as well.

There is no beginning, middle or end to this blog post. Coincidentally, I don't feel as though our recent engagement puts us at the beginning, middle or end to anything. It's actually all of those things.

Without any transition at all, I'd like to say thank everyone that supports us, keeps us in your prayers and thinks positive thoughts for us. There is still a long journey ahead but our firm foundation is filled with friends and family members' hand imprints.

Years from now, I'll re-read this post and regret not having articulated this event differently. But if I had to convey just one thought from this time in our life and this momentous occasion, it would be this: Emmelle, I thank you for all that has been up to this very day and for an abundance of reasons yet to discovered.

Thanks for stopping by and smelling the cheese, personal pieces like this are intended to be rare, but will definitely be savored when there is just reason.

Please check out some photos courtesy of Emmelle here.

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the groom's march

A few weddings to attend over the next couple of months...this morning, I find myself mentally sifting through ways in which weddings could be more enjoyable - not just for myself, but for everyone.

Consider, as an example, the groom's procession down the aisle. No one has been able to provide me with a satisfactory reason for why his entrance must be so unceremonious. Half of the time, I don't even notice that he's already proceeded to the front. This just isn't fair, the man isn't getting his propers.

I understand that this is the bride's day, but she gets the opportunity to enter last, casually late to the party if you will...dawning a gaudy white gown...wearing a pound of makeup on her face as if she is a television anchor...holding a bouquet of flowers that she'll at some point heave at throngs of single woman. To take it way over the top, there is a theme song in her honor. Can't the groom enjoy at least one of those things?

I've always embraced the idea of a groom selecting music to accompany him as he walks down the aisle. I liken it to a baseball player hand-selecting musical pieces for his short stroll from the on-deck circle to home plate. It gets him and the crowd amped. Why not here? Being the meticulous planner that I am, I have considered my own theme music whenever my own special day comes. There has been an on-going internal battle between the Star Wars and Indiana Jones themes. Lately, I've contemplated adding The Dark Knight score into the consideration set. However, this is a bit more ominous and brooding, and I wouldn't want to conjure up images of The Joker while aforementioned cake-faced bride saunters down the aisle after I have already swooped down wearing a black suit (and cape...and cowl...and utility belt).

This got me thinking further. Maybe the groom's theme needs to be a little more uplifting, perhaps a track to get the congregation all jacked up and ready for the reception. The following are masterfully crafted ideas of my own, but I welcome anyone to hijack these.

As a latch key child from the eighties, the only sensible musical choice is this (you'll need to skip to 1:40 - please be patient and take the time). Everyone would be so engaged and fired up! I encourage posters and spontaneous applause during the more pivotal moments of the wedding ceremony. The groom would stop at various moments down his walking path to point and pose, acknowledge all of the loved ones that have taken the time to be with him on this most blessed of days. Don't we deserve at least that much?

To build upon this theme, it would then make sense for the bride and groom to walk into the reception while the DJ spins this classic cut. Wait a second - when did Macho Man's entrance music become the graduation theme? How did I miss this as a child?

When I commit to something, I like to take it all the way, or least to a point where others say, "You've taken this way too far." To complete this brilliant wedding theme, it would only make sense for the slide show of the bride and groom to be cut off by the music of a villain, and then ultimately he would emerge on the screen or in-person. This villain would undoubtedly be the bride's ex-boyfriend and the music would be "their song" so that she would momentarily recall all of the special moments that she had forcefully shoved out of her memory.

Ex-BF would challenge the new husband to some sort of duel to finally settle who deserves the bride's affection. The groom would quickly recognize the bride's wanton relapse and attack EX-BF. Friends of both the groom and EX-BF would come out of nowhere and brawl on the dance floor. The DJ would then put on his announcer's hat and call the action as it played out...

...

I vaguely remember reading a Bill Simmons article a couple of years ago about how he thought it was a good idea to have a championship belt in sports a la wrestling, replete with feuds like above. Damn him. I'm still taking credit for this idea. Yes, I am an adult.

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at least i don't punch babies

About once a quarter, I force myself to confront some of my mishaps and foibles as a Man Friend (with the tender direction of ML). Honestly, I try to remain as focused on Man Friend improvement for as long as I can, but at some point, my thoughts morph into defense mode. I then race through a mental check list of all of the outlandish mayhem that I could be wreaking on our relationship and convince myself that I am a devoted Man Friend for absurd reasons such as these:

"Well, at least I don't yell at you, or beat you, or cheat on you. And I sing way better than this guy! You are so gosh darn lucky!"

It has taken me years to understand that these claims count for nothing. 

Now, I know what you may be thinking: "I thought the dude from GreensandBrowns was a good boyfriend. I have never been so mistaken!" Let me address this before I continue on with my explanation. 

You are wrong (and thanks for stopping by). Moving on...

Let me use you, the reader as an example. Refer to your own current relationship or the last one you torpedoed. Your friends and family are always telling you things like, "Don't forget what a great person you are and how much you deserve. You have so much to offer." 

Well, any relationship commences with that as a baseline, right? You are able to maintain a "in a relationship" Facebook status because lucky for you, somebody special noticed that (1) you are a great person, (2) your greatness deserves his/her attention, (3) he/she would love to accept your offerings. How you present yourself to somebody of interest is merely a starting point; you are at the base of the summit. Your entire relationship will be spent scaling the mountainside. I think ultimately, it's part of the reason why so many relationships fail. The absolute best is offered at the onset; the rest becomes difficult to live up to. 

Thus, being at the base, you can't reduce yourself to anything less. You can try by literally and figuratively digging yourself into a hole. Hypothetically, if you are the kind of Man Friend to throw his girl extravagant surprise birthday parties, lavish her with the choicest Teleflora flowers, or take her to the finest restaurants that San Francisco has to offer, you must always stay true to that standard. But occasionally, you just want to kick up your heels and say:

"Well, at least I don't punch babies or soil my unmentionables. And I smell way better than this kid is about to smell. You or so gosh darn lucky!"

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