About once a quarter, I force myself to confront some of my mishaps and foibles as a Man Friend (with the tender direction of ML). Honestly, I try to remain as focused on Man Friend improvement for as long as I can, but at some point, my thoughts morph into defense mode. I then race through a mental check list of all of the outlandish mayhem that I could be wreaking on our relationship and convince myself that I am a devoted Man Friend for absurd reasons such as these:
"Well, at least I don't yell at you, or beat you, or cheat on you. And I sing way better than this guy! You are so gosh darn lucky!"
It has taken me years to understand that these claims count for nothing.
Now, I know what you may be thinking: "I thought the dude from GreensandBrowns was a good boyfriend. I have never been so mistaken!" Let me address this before I continue on with my explanation.
You are wrong (and thanks for stopping by). Moving on...
Let me use you, the reader as an example. Refer to your own current relationship or the last one you torpedoed. Your friends and family are always telling you things like, "Don't forget what a great person you are and how much you deserve. You have so much to offer."
Well, any relationship commences with that as a baseline, right? You are able to maintain a "in a relationship" Facebook status because lucky for you, somebody special noticed that (1) you are a great person, (2) your greatness deserves his/her attention, (3) he/she would love to accept your offerings. How you present yourself to somebody of interest is merely a starting point; you are at the base of the summit. Your entire relationship will be spent scaling the mountainside. I think ultimately, it's part of the reason why so many relationships fail. The absolute best is offered at the onset; the rest becomes difficult to live up to.
Thus, being at the base, you can't reduce yourself to anything less. You can try by literally and figuratively digging yourself into a hole. Hypothetically, if you are the kind of Man Friend to throw his girl extravagant surprise birthday parties, lavish her with the choicest Teleflora flowers, or take her to the finest restaurants that San Francisco has to offer, you must always stay true to that standard. But occasionally, you just want to kick up your heels and say:
"Well, at least I don't punch babies or soil my unmentionables. And I smell way better than this kid is about to smell. You or so gosh darn lucky!"
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