south korea (part 7 of 9)

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South Korea 2010: A day by day retrospective

It's the last third of these posts. Home stretch. And here...we...go...

Day 7; my mom's side

Emmelle and I spent the morning and early afternoon wandering around various districts of Seoul. This was really our chance to buy gifts more than anything else. While our bodies had adjusted to the time zone, we still were not fully comfortable with the oppressive heat and humidity. As I understand it, we had really lucked out with the overcast skies during our entire trip. The 90 degree+ weather and 500% humidity was actually a true gift. I had given up trying to stay dry a couple of days ago , but the real concern now was the chaffing between my inner thighs. Now, I'm not quite the young buck I once was, and over the years, my body has collected pockets of fat here and there. My sticky thighs were rubbing against each other with every painful stride that I took; the heaviest lotion applications only did so much. Travel tip #1 in the future: stick to boxer briefs.

Additionally, we were meeting my mom's side of the family for dinner. I was nervous. I was just grouchy in general.

My mom's side. My mom is the only member of her family, which includes five siblings, who left Korea. The distance between us engendered a perception in my head that they were my mom's family, and not my own. Prior to this trip, I hadn't seen any of her siblings or my cousins in over twenty years. I distinctly remember one instance while we were staying with my dad's side of the family, and refused to visit my mom's side. Embarrassing and hurtful.

I was very concerned with what we would talk about but recognized that my visit wasn't about me. I was representing my mom and her life by proxy and also introducing them to Emmelle. At least there would be some canned topics to discuss. And looking back now, I realize in that moment, I had completely ignored the unique bond that exists with family, regardless of how little you know each other. Or it could be the case that I really don't have experience with it as an adult. They are my family. To state it more accurately, they are still my mom's family, but it holds the exact connotation it did when I was a child. There is an innate desire as I grow older to be able to touch and feel my parents' lives - present, and particularly past. Whomever my mom loves, I love them.

My aunt met us at a nearby bus station, and we walked to my uncle's work/house. She is as I remembered, just a little wider in her face and waist. She is reminiscent of my mom, but harder eyes and calloused expression. She is tough, a bull. She pointed occasionally to various streets and buildings, remarking about what we used to do here and there, where my mom used to play. I had no idea my mom's side of the family has lived in the same neighborhood for 50 some years (at least). On top of that, I had no idea, my parents first lived here when they got married. And I was born here.

My uncle owns an auto body shop called Oasis, that he runs with his family. His wife does a lot of the administrative and book keeping work (I think), and his two kids, son and daughter, pretty much run the place. The older son is the same age as me, and I wish we had more time to talk, to hang out. My aunt's poor scheduling didn't allow for them to come to dinner with us. But we picked up a couple of street snacks (soon-dae, dduk booki) and had drinks in their home after work hours. While we exchanged stories, I was conscious of how much I was smiling. Not because I was trying to, but because it was so easy and natural. I don't think that there are that many moments in life when all that you want to do is smile, in a genuine way. There's always something to say, something to do. But not in this moment. I just had to smile.

Thanks for stopping by.

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