We are full steam ahead in 2012 or end of the world, whatever you prefer to call it. It feels like the perfect time to reflect for a moment to frame the course of action for the year that lies ahead. One of my fondest memories of 2011 came during Emmelle and my honeymoon trip to France. During our second week, we spent five glorious days on the southern coast in Nice, tanning on rock beaches and swimming in the shallow depths of topaz blue Mediterranean waters. I've never been a strong swimmer so I gladly embraced the daily afternoon challenges afforded by the sea.
Each day I reminded Emmelle that I needed to go for a dip in the ocean, to improve body and mind through the sea's rhythmic waves. My devotion to the water was reminiscent of one of Mad Men's story lines in season 4 in which Don Draper takes up swimming to improve his health. "We are so alike!" I admitted to myself as I walked toward the ocean to splash a little water on my legs, widen my toes to let the cool water wash up towards my exposed feet. My aggressively parted hair flapped gently in the breeze. While I stretched out my arms and legs, I would have mental conversations with Draper about how to romance my wife and who I might verbally accost once I returned back to work. Don and me, we had fine times.
Before I knew it, I would be in the water, flailing my arms to achieve some measurable distance from the shore. Mere seconds into each swim, my arms and shoulders fatigued, my thighs would burn unmercifully. It was not pleasurable. But it is a gentleman's exercise, I reminded myself. If it's good enough for Draper, than it surely is suited for my body.
Maybe not.
The show went away for some time, rumors of conflict between the creator and the network. In fact, season 5 will not commence until late March. Late March?! I can read the tea leaves well enough; it was time to move on. I needed to identify a new (fictitious) mentor. It dawned on me fairly quickly who that needed to be - somebody I saw in my reflection everyday. To continue my betterment as dutiful husband, business wunderkind, general man about town, my 2012 mantra is
"Be more Bruce Wayne than Donald Draper"
Once you get passed the disbelief, I already know the question that is forming in your eyes - "aren't they actually very similar? Practically the same (bad ass (fake)) guy?" I wholly understand where you are coming from. Both gentlemen are insufferably handsome, charming without peer, yet haunted by burdens of a dark, secret past. They are both orphans. They are wealthy, surround themselves with beautiful women and masterfully oversee their expanding business empires. Most importantly, they are and do all of these things in finely tailored suits.
Hhmm, on the surface, they appear quite similar; why am I making such a distinction in 2012? What does it mean to be more Dark Knight than DonDon?
Find below a short, but vital, list of key differences between DonDon and Mr. Wayne, any singular point alone worthy of the new direction I have taken.
- Bruce Wayne doesn't drink. Reader, you've only been mislead to believe that you've witnessed Mr. Wayne sip fine champagne or cocktails at one of his philanthropic fundraisers. He needs to stay sharp for the criminal-fighting demands of the night. While he is famous for holding a drink in his hand, he's adept at slipping away to discard its contents. While I'm not claiming a year off the sauce completely, I'm definitely giving my liver a break here and there.
- Donald Draper is a chronic philanderer. While Don would have us feel pity on his ever-growing, internal conflict of right and wrong, it's tough to paint a rosy portrayal of his inability to keep his pants on (outside of the pool). He's selectively compassionate to his children and employees just enough for his fans to latch onto that thread of morality. However, his bottom half is bankrupt of honesty or loyalty. He is a monstrous sexual, sexy villain. Contrarily, Mr. Wayne has demonstrated incredible devotion to just a handful of women over the last 50 years or so. His loyalty bleeds so deep that he risks his life even for the likes of Katie Holmes and beardless Jake Gyllenhall. We can all learn something here.
- Donald Draper is a creative. In 2011, I left a planning and consulting arm of my company because of a misguided shift by the leadership to approach our projects with a greater creative perspective. Rather than deliver strategic recommendations to clients rooted in data and analytics, the group began to make ill-advised suggestions based on feelings and (retarded) intuition. This sounds crazy, right? Well, actually, this is what DonDon does. If you have the gift to be convincing without any material proof, you're never going to stop. Creative work belongs to left-brained English lit majors who become comatose as soon as you mention any numbers. I'd rather find solutions (and bring notorious criminals to justice) by means of rigorous analysis.
- Bruce Wayne is not beholden to offspring. It's pretty difficult to maintain a demanding professional/social calendar while tending to young children. DonDon is conflicted by it, yet his response is to ignore the issue altogether and resigned to remain a terrible father with a future filled with terrible adult children. Mr. Wayne will probably punish these kids one day as they peddle cheap narcotics on the street. I'd rather pursue the independence that Mr. Wayne exhibits - beholden to just one human being in his life, and that one human being refers to him as "Master" and cooks his meals and tidies his palace. I can go for that.
- Bruce Wayne is a ninja. Self-explanatory.
Happy new year!
To conclude, as I frequently like to write whenever I offer discourse on Batman, ninjas, or Batman and ninjas, yes, I am married, and yes, I am in my thirties.
Thanks for stopping by!
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