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In an effort to help all of the GreensandBrowns readers with future gift-giving needs, I have dedicated a whole page on the blog to curating my greatest necessities. Please see the link below: stuff that i need that i don't need Thanks for stopping by. |
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The purpose of this blog, the main purpose, was to document some of my life's joys and blessings as they happened in a semi real-time format. So that, years down the road, I could complement any amount of videos, photographs, holograms (?) with my actual thoughts. Putting pen-to-paper once every six months doesn't seem to jive with that intent, especially if these last six months coincided with months two through seven for our young son, Master Caleb. Our son is almost seven months old (!), and the intent of this post has changed a bit. At original time of writing, he was just one month old, and we still knew very little about him. Since then, he has revealed quite a bit of his personality. He seems to be fairly mellow with some very quickly escalated bursts of rage. I am generally very scared of him. He gives away smiles fairly quickly (too easily) to strangers but that has changed very slightly in the last couple of weeks as the concept of "Stranger Danger" seems to play a more integral role in his disposition. But what I originally intended were some things that are secondary thoughts, and mostly concerns. Its easy to pick out elements of his personality that he'll likely retain for life. But what about things that don't reveal themselves for much longer? And the things that I'm fretting about are a laundry list of questions such as "Will you have back problems like your father?", "Have I passed on any unhealthy ailments?". All fully out of our control, and all that much more worrisome. Nevertheless, by virtue and hard work of his mother, he is a happy, well-fed baby. His curated photo album below: Master Caleb, who are you? Master Caleb's Flickr Page Thanks for stopping by. |
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Please do me the courtesy of hitting the play button on the YouTube embed before you start reading this. Much like the last thoughts shared about Master Caleb, there's plenty of words to draw upon from our rock heroes of the past. At time of writing Master Caleb has just fed, has a fresh diaper strapped and stands (or lays) a couple of days shy of four weeks. In between sentences, my eyes shift over to he and his Mamaroo where I can see him fully approving of the gadget's calming rhythmic movements (he is sleeping). Four weeks! I'm learning quickly as a new parent that there are an infinite amount of non-milestones and achievements to celebrate. But let's be clear, this one is a win for his parents, mostly Emmelle. Four weeks of keeping him alive. That feels like something significant considering where we started weeks ago. The beginning of all of this? Well, Emmelle's contractions began in the wee hours of a Monday morning - midnight to be more precise - and from that point until we rushed to the hospital after 9am that day, we individually dozed off for about 20-30 minutes. After admittance into the delivery ward, the waiting game began. We waited. And waited. I received a suggestion over text from my sage sister, Colonel Mustard, to get some shut eye as it would be a long night. Too much anxiety, anticipation and adrenaline. Impossible. Fortunately (and much more importantly), Emmelle did in fact snooze for a bit. And then we waited some more. And late on Monday - perhaps around 11pm - the delivery began. Monday left us and turned over to a new day of week, a new date on the calendar to perhaps call Master Caleb's very own. 12:52am. He arrived. There are tears, laughter, joe, awe (There's a whole lot of this, but I want to talk about how tired we are). A few hours pass before we are finally admitted into our room. It is after 5am now and the nurse offers to take our youngling off of our hands for a couple of hours so we can get some sleep. We gladly accept, and sleep finally comes - just about 30 hours after the labor began and roughly 45 hours since our last material sleep. And little did I realize that would be our rude and abrupt introduction into parental tiredness - relentless and seemingly everlasting. Everyone tells us it gets better. It will, it must?? The real sacrifice, as with all things as parents, comes from Emmelle. She is the one at home with the littly guy for four consecutive months. She is the one that can provide sustenance in the middle of the night and soothe his growing needs. And she is the one that does this around the clock. I, on the other hand, have been back at work for the last couple of weeks and have to miss one or two feedings per night, depending on how mischievous he chooses to be with us on that given night. When I am at my most useful, I will take young master downstairs so Emmelle can have some short but continuous sleep, void of his small cries and fussing. But there's a rub there too. Unless we have specific bottle feeding plans during that block of time, I quickly usher Master Caleb up the stairs to his food source right when he demands it. Like I said, abrupt. There is no lead time, there is no warning. All of your nerves are tested in those moments. "I'm so tired". So tired. There is another Beatles lyric that comes to mind right now: "It's Getting Better All the Time". Right? Thanks for stopping by. |
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While nothing may feel more comforting than a couple hours of snoozing, I'm fighting the urge for a few minutes as the need to record some of my fresh thoughts on all that's happened over the last couple of weeks (and beyond) takes precedence. I figure these sentiments will hold a lot of value in future years. And may it be a reminder, as gentle as an anvil dropped on top of my head, of how difficult these first two weeks have been with precious Master Caleb in our lives. You know, just in case silly notions of repeating this activity may occur in the future. Tonight, two weeks in, I wanted to touch quickly on the notion of love, attachment and responsibility. In short, I'm finding that they can be mutually exclusive as easily as they are intertwined. And for me, its been very much my sense of duty and devotion to Emmelle, far greater than feelings of affection for our newborn, that have driven me to be a responsible parent. This has been an interesting revelation for me - I've thought through the entire pregnancy that I would immediately be infatuated with our bundle of joy. Don't get me wrong, I am elated at his arrival. But at this stage of his life, I derive much more satisfaction in mundane task-oriented activities that I know are supporting Emmelle (and indirectly Master Caleb), rather than staring into his pudgy little face for minutes on end. In fact, I am a little lost during those rare moments his eyes come alive and tries to make sense of his surroundings. I am not disappointed by this; it all makes perfect sense. I am in the beginning stages of my relationship with my son unlike Emmelle and all mothers who have the opportunity (and the grave sacrifice) of fostering a nine month courtship in the womb. I watched Emmelle seamlessly transition from anxious expectant mother to a confident parent, full of pride and love for her own flesh and blood. It has been the most rewarding experience of everything so far, and again, is a true driver for me to be a good father - still trying to figure out what that means. So Master Caleb, hopefully when you are not so much a baby one day and can read and comprehend your old man's words - I am comfortable with you understanding that our relationship began with a sense of responsibility and love...for your mother. Son, I love you today, but perhaps not the way that I had anticipated. This might sound negative to some. I disagree. Its perhaps a testament to the promise of the bond to come. I'm really looking forward to everything. Thanks for stopping by. |
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There is a very good reason my updates have been so sparse in recent months. I've been diligently observing Emmelle incubate her very own child (inside of herself) and have found minimal interest in writing about more trivial matters. I deliberately use the word "observing" because I'm pretty certain I did little else during these past nine months. Meanwhile she has been a total champ, enduring all of the discomfort and hardship that come with pregnancy. So, fast forward nine months and lo and behold, our little Caleb - Yong Hwa in Korean - arrived in the first hour of Tuesday October 14, 2014. I write this roughly a week into Caleb's arrival. In the little time I have left of paternity leave, I hope to document some of the thoughts and experiences in the early going. Overall, it has been incredibly challenging, eye opening beyond belief (i.e., how can parents go through this multiple times?!) and all the while, little Caleb occasionally reveals some of the true joys of our life together that are about to come. Thanks for stopping by. 
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I'm sure I'll look back in a few years and regret not having posted more about the first couple of years of my beautiful niece's first couple of years of life. In fact, it's been over a year since the last one (her baptism).
She is roughly 18 months now, and I wonder if this handful of months represents the greatest disparity between understanding how things work and an inability to act/react due to immature motor skills. It is humorous for now (see the video), but a sobering thought when you realize that a similar disparity exists when your body deteriorates. Not sobering, mildly depressing. But let's stop there. This is meant to be a celebration of young, budding life and all of the discovery and achievement that comes along with it. One other point. I recently acquired a new reader. He shall go nameless for the time being. But he gave me some feedback that my posts are generally too lengthy. I am not reluctant to admit I enjoy the written word from time to time, but these more recent posts - mostly in video form - are a direct response to that criticism. Please enjoy.
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Congrats to Eddie Money. First video attempt with the Nikon 5300 exclusively with a prime lens. I used it frequently in Spain and UK but I'm sort of working backwards towards looking at all of that footage. Nevertheless, great results; can you imagine how it would look with a talented shooter? Thanks for stopping by. |
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The second of two Gaudi works that we visited (the other, La Casa Mila). And honestly, we did not see enough. This guy is unreal. That is my expert opinion. The cathedral is intended to be complete in about a dozen more years - 2026. It seems like a good buffer from now to a second visit to this amazing city.
Oh yes. All of this is undoubtedly a tribute to Jesus. Don't be fooled; he is clearly a fancy man with ornate preferences.
View from the back entrance.
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